Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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