explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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