well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
