Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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