I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
