i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
