i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
