SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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