i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Randomize
