I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
