we made out on top of his cat.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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