That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
