I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
