He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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