My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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