3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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