if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you will always have a special place in my vag
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize