I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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