You made me cry and you don't even care
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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