i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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