party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
