wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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