So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
