hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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