I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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