Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
