Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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