i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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