You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
