Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
