After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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