if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
