I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
