I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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