And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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