I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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