Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
