i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
