She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
What drink are we having for lunch?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
