Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
