Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
