I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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