we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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