I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
