We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
