I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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