were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My breasts were aching with rage.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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