my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
