look no pants
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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