Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
