He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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