i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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