theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
