Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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