420 ftw
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
