His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
