Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
