I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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