if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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