I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you win again, gameday.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
