pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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