"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I cockslap morals
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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