$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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